I Want to be The "Cool" Guy at The Local Newspaper

I'm a huge fan of Justin Ellis.

If you don't know the name, or are thinking I'm talking about an up and comming Red Sox prodigy let me introduce you to young Mr. Ellis.

Here, have a bite.

Ellis writes stories for the Portland Press Herland back home in Maine, and he does an article or whatever for the Monday Magazine portion of the paper called "NXT." I imagine this is supposed to add to his legitamcy as being a "hip and cool" urbanite, because apparently being black in Maine is no longer cutting it.

Mostly what he writes is what I write (though his articles come out with greater consistency/frequency... fuck you, I'm really busy... 3am is pretty much the only time I have to write and post... when I should be studying...); topics like latest trends in pop culture, video games, television, etc, often are the subjects of his posts.

So why can't I land this kind of gig? I could easily be working for some shitty local paper, describing what fast food restaurants are worth my five dollars and how I spend my Saturdays.

Well for one, the Cape is boring, and nothing is going on here. So much in fact that the shitty local bird cage liner only comes out once a week. So what would I write about?

Often I've thought about maybe submitting my blog entries to the local paper (The Cape Cod Times, by the way) but considering the Portland Pheonix wouldn't even touch me, I doubt a stodgy Cape Codian newspaper which is probably read by old-school liberals would give me a shot.

Part of it too is getting your foot in the door with someone on the inside. Ellis interned for a few years before they would let him even write for the paper, and even then it was little gay stories no one would read.

And I really don't have much of an audience. Cape Cod is pretty much comprised of 66% old dying lumps of flesh, and 33% young people who list "The Da Vinchy [sic] Code" as their favorite book.

Thanks Myspace.com!

I just want to be a beacon to that last one percent of people, who like me, are stuck on this miserable hook-shaped island waiting to see what summer brings. What would I write about, you ask? Pretty much the same things I write about here, only a little more Cape Cod scene-oriented. I mean, of which there is little of. The Cape Cod scene is typically Boston college girls slumming it because they've exhausted all the places in Beantown and Providence and there's still three months left in the goddamn semester.